Happy birthday

Today is my birthday.
Studing in England was my long time dream. so I am quite happy to spend my birthday here. It is more than anything.
When I was in Japan, I was sometimes provided the presents which I have never wanted.
Sometimes I feel I am loved as an object.
I guess it is because of Japanese culture.
Japanese people really do not have custome of enjoying humanity and conversation.
Again , this is the reason I wanted to come here, coze I believed that here peole enjoy humanity and conversation.
Do you get what I am saying???
But now at least I am getting what I want, being in London at my birthday!!!

To come here was too hard thing especially if the people is not a good commander of English.
A good commander of English has unlimited access of hugue amount of infomation and
but a poor commnader of English is just misarable.
Usually, we have to rely on the agency which just try to take huge money for short stay in England. Usually the plan which agency can offer has low probability of trobles and at the same time soooo boring.

moving out

I plant to move out this accomodation because I do not really enjoyed being here although it is convinient to be in University. I can be in the library in a minitue for 24 hours.
I would like to stay with a cheerful Englsih family.
The expiry day of this accomodation is 24 th June and I decided not to extend it.
I sart to looking forwad to a family to stay with.

My preference of the family and place is quite clear.
(abstraction)
I would like to find a famiy who can enjoy having me not only for money.
Of course, the fee I paid to the family might be thier main reason of having me but still, I would like to find a family which can enjoy having me.

(concreat condition)

1. meal provider
So I would like to find a family who can provide me meal not only bed.
I guess there is more high possibility of getting a nice family, if I choose a family which can provide me meals and I can enjoy talking with them at meals.

2.children

I love a family which have children. but it is not a necessary condition.

3.London
I would prefer to stay closer to the centre of London because I can find many things in the centre but suburb area sometimes too quiet.
Therefore I need the place from where I can accress the centre of London easily.
I would like to find some part time job which makes me socialized. I think I have more chance in the centre than the suburb.
In conclusion, the suburb is ok but it supposed to be not far from the centre.

So , I start to looking for a family on the web.
I checked some agencies and web pages.
But I prefer the web page which allow me to contact to the family directly.
http://www.homestayfinder.com/

Alcoholic

The definition of the alcoholic is that the person who drink alcohol drink on thier own I heard.
I am.
I sometimes buy wine for cooking and I drink them on my own in my room sometimes.
I am so weak and I do not need to drink much to be drunken and just sleep for two hours.
I LOVE being London and people here but my life here is not really good especially recently.
I am completely isolated.
I do not have even one English friend here in London although I have some international friends here.
When I start to live in London, I was in Camden.
My life was a bit better than now. For example, I enjoyed very very beautiful parks in London.
But I am a bit outside of London and I need to take a bus even to go to the nearest supermarket.
I tried to be socialied but it has not gone well so far.
For example, I tried to find a job in Pubs or shops I applied more than thirty.
But manybe because of my Englsih nobody take me.
Well, it is really hard to live in the isolation.

Girl

I am also one of girls but I think they are so special.
Coz when they smile , they can create the worm and happy atompsphere, at the same time, when they are sad, they can creat the hopless atomosphere as well.
I do not know the reason but they have strong power.
Today, my Indian friend smiles a lot whom I worry about theseday,
Anyway, I think being happy is a kind of girls' duty and to keep that duty,
we are allowed to be selfish and spoiled to some extent.
I think I also need to smile because I am also a girl biologically.
Today, she gave me a chocolate which she got from her work.

lost contactlenses

I have lost my contactlenses.
This event devastated my beautiful morning.
Not only the fact I have to pay for the new lenses but also the fact I do not like
lenses shops in UK makes me so depressed. I have a bad bad memory about it.
Last summer, I bought a pair of lenses and I found out I hate the shop.
The shop was a famouse lense shop and has lots of branch in London.
Usually those kind of shop are systematic and more speedy and manualized.
But,
There are lots of trouble there.


For example, when I ordered the lense and tried , the optician found out they are too big to me
so I needed to order again. That was fine so far.
After I reordered and I visited them to try my new lenses, they said I needed to returned the lenses
which I took home last visit.
Of course, I did not take anything last time coz, those were too big and useless to me, were't they?!
They insisted I needed to return and otherwise I could not get new ones.The optician said that I needed to sort out this problem by my self.
I think it is thier problem.
And I just said that they needed to proof that I took the lenses home.
Of course, they could not and just gave up insisting.

To be honest, I fed up with them so much coz this is not the only thing,but other similer things in happend and each time I had to explained patiently.
In UK, there are lots of wonderful things , but the contactlens shop might not be so great.
No!!
I never buy anything from the shop!!!!
I have no idea, what I can do.

a girl is a PC?

These days I feel something strange in my Indiand friend who is living in next door.
Obviously, she is try to avoide speaking with me.
To be honest, I have no idea.I hope she is just having priod or something. But as a priod it is a bit long....
Of course, I asked her but she said "nothing" and I have nothing to do with it.
If you are reading this blog, Miss. P, I think you can tell me what you do not like or you should not express at all otherwise it is so annoying.
I just worry about you, Miss P.
Maybe I can just leave her and try not to bother her.
As my other friend says, a girl might be like PC who can stop and work without reason.
Do you think girls are like PC ???
We do not really have reason when we get angry ???
How do you think ???
We are really selfish and spoiled ???
We are allowed to get angry without telling the reason ???

Ants with wings

These days, in my room, there are lots of ants with wings.
I do not like that .
It is not because my room is not clean but becasue near my room there is a nest of ants, I guess.

I heard that they are male ants and only be to produce the sperms therefore they do not eat at all in their life.
Their way of living feaks me out completely.
I think they are not supposed to be in my room becasue they have a clear purpose and they do not have much time.

Examination Over

I finished the exams.
I am so happy because it was a bit hard.
For example some exams are from the modules which I have never understood during this term. Actually I tried to understand and attended all classes but I could not understand . I think something need the structured knowledge to be understood and the pieces of knowledge is not really helpful and I did not have that structured knowledge.
Actually I still did not know how I am supposed to study on my own without structured knowledge. In this way, since I came here I have many hesitation and struggled with them and feel tired. Even if I feel tired , there are exams.
What shall I do!!!
And I asked help to my frined who lives in the center of Lodon and he is so excellent.
He is so good person and actually therefore I need to feel guilty for asking help and wasting his time . However I did not have any choice and he tought me four days from morning to mid night. He said he is a researcher and can schedule his time as he like. I know he can do that but at the same time he is going to have to work hard to
pay for the waste of the time.
My body was aching during this four days because it was hard
coz I need to understnad all the things which are supposed to be done during a year.
I waseted his huge time but I finished anyway. Happy!!

a skirt

Today, I am wearing a skirt.
I do not wear a skirt often since I came to UK.
Until my friends asked me hye I am weaing a skirt I did not realize.
I did not intent to dress up but I kind of did a bit. Today I have a appointment with my favorite
lecture who looks like Harry Potter.
I think I just like him as a lecturer and still I think so.
But I am a girl and want to look nice in front of my favorite people regardless the person is
man or woman.
I explained to my friends. I am not sure it is true?!

examination priod

Next week I have examination. So I am just prepareing for them and reading handouts and practice writing essays.
I am so not sicialized, you know.
I wake up and nobody cares when I wake up or even whether I wake up.
It is really hard time.
I do not like this kind of unsocialized priod.
After the examins, the situation is supposed to be worse so I really need to think and do something about it.
Today, I go to the library.

ＰＣ is a girl?

Today I went to the London and visit the computer shop I asked checking my pc before.
After I got my pc from the shop, I found out my pc have some ram memory and I needed to ask them the reason.
I visit there with my frriends and he is good at comoputer. It was really helpful.
When we explain the situation, the shop staffs looks really unhappy.
They give me some ram memory saying that it might be my fault or misunderstanding but anyway I got Ram memory back,
I also do not understnad why it happened because my Ram memory was not big and it is not worth be taken.
The parts from Japan is valuabl??
As far as I know, I have never left my pc beside the comoputer shop so I can not think of other possibility but anyway I got it
back and \i should be happy with it.
After solving the problem, all of us go to the labratory where my friend is working and chat for a long time about PC about
Genda about Education about Love so on.
I love chatting.
I n Japan, I didnot have much chance to talk with people. We just really do not have conversation custom.
My friend who is good at computer has interesting opinions about PC. He always says that PC is like a girl , which can
stop without reason and when it decide to stop or move, we can not do anything to change it.
I like his unique opinions and to some extent, I agree with him.
And he says that PC is like a girl and that is why boys tend to be good at using comuputers.
If a boy is so good at computer , he is not so good at dealing with girls. But if a boy is not really good at computer,
he is so good at dealing with girls.
People can not be good at dealing with both of girls and computer.
Which one are you?

Italian restaurnat

I am looking for a part time job.
From now, our course does not have classes and students are supposed to thier dissertation work.
It is a kind of isolatioted situation,
So I have to be ready for it. I need to place to go constantly to keep me up.
Now I need to prepare for the exam but I star to looking for it.

I find a note of requireing waitress in front of a Italian restaurant.
I entered into the restaurant.
It was a small restaurant but really beautiful, having small balcony on the Themes river.
We can see sky from there.
I like the sky in my town,
I found a small Italian woman and she seemed to be a owner.
I talked with her.
She said she want to know I am nice or not and give me a chance to demonstrate tonight because they have
party and would be busy.
She said she would have me and she do not care any nationality at all. I thought I liked her.
Actually, I would not want to work because just before the exam but I said yes.
I wore back pants and shirts and simple jueries and tried to look simple and suitable to the restaurant.

The restaurant is managed by the lady and her husband and one more guy and two shefs.
At first , I thought the guy is thier son, which turned out not after. His name is Roger.
I thought Roger is Italian because he spoke Italian but afterI found he is not.
The lady and her husband and Roger were nice to me and I was happy.
i worked from eight to twelve oclock and the lady said to me that, I was good so she would call me when they were busy
and gave me 10 pond. I am not working for money but if they should pay me at least 5 pond per hour.
I thought they were looking for a constant part time worker but they are not.
They asked me to work tomorrow, but a five minute later the doughter of the lady called her and said she can help.
The lady was a hard owner , I found out.
Of course , she should be to survive in London.
I hid my thought because there is no point to talk with them and said good bye cheerfully.

I felt dissapointted and walked to the bus stop.
It was late and there were many drunken guys and I was so scared but nothing happened.
At the bus stop, after I wait the bus for a while I found Roger there.
I talked with him.
He came fromBrazil and his grandma is Portuguese.
He is working full time.
He said that the lady is not easy I can see that he has paied extra effort to deal with her.

After I went to back to room I was still disappointed and thought that people here are just try to
exploite from me.
You know not only the lasy but also my professers.
They do not teach me.
When I bring my dissertation proposal, he did not give me any feed back.
He always try to avoide his work and ignore students.
That kind of ignoring really hurt me.

Japan is the only country I can stay?
But I do not think so.
I was just bad luck having lazy teachers and meeting exploiting people.
Yesterday was not really bad day. I met Roger and he was not bad even if I do not meet him
it was a nice meeting.
Today, my body was aching just because of four hours late working,
But I feel not bad,

Having sex everyday

One of my classmate asked me to be his girlfriends.
It is not bad and a kind of compliment regardless I like him or not.
He said that he want to have sex everyday.
Actually, I liked him in a way but that comment made me freak out,
I can not do that.
Japanese boys never say that way,
I do not know it is because they are shy or they can not do that.
Anyway , they do not say in that way.
I still like my classmate because he is funny and honest but I do not think
I can do that becaue it takes time.

Harry Potter

Today, I met a teacher my chance. He was my favorite but he is not now.
He looks like Harry Potter on his forties.
I just finished his assignment which was so hard and I worked on it one month.
Sometimes I was stuck and need help and I send him mails but he ignored me almost completely.
You know, I came from far east and do not have any person who I can ask help much and he was the only person
I can ask.
His ignoring hurt me a lot.
I worked on that assignmet for one month giving up easter holiday and everything but still I could not do that.

Actually, I went to the cource director and talked with tears because I did not know how to do anymore.
Everyday, I was in the library until late for one month and becasme so desperate.
That course director is also the teacher who do not reply to my mails.
I had to struggle with the assignment on my own. Yes , it is supposed to be done on my own but sometimes
I need help from outside.
Today, I met that Harry Potter by chance and complained about that. I complaine like stubbin him to death.
He was reaaly adult and mature.
He took my complaining and made it fine,
But so you think his execuse is acceptable?
He said that he has more than one hundred mails a day so my mails are lost in them.

My PC

My PC is kind of repaired.
I am afraid, the computer shop I asked to repaire might took my RAM Memory because it is now half of what it is supposed to be.
I know RAM Memory is expensive but mine is not so big and not valuable.
I hope it is my misunderstanding.
Maybe I can go to the shop and ask the explanation to it. Again, I hope it is my misunderstanding. Or I should just avoide the communication and left them becasue they are hopeless if they really took.
it might be the time to buy a new PC. I should not have tried to repaired it.