My secret friend

I have a secret friend.
One day he talked to me MSN.
I met him when I was in London two years ago. Unfortunately I do not really remember his face though. He said he think I need friends and he can be one.
It is really true.
I need friends.
Why he can know that? From my blog?
In my blog, I write quite honest way, I agree. However I still hide many things.
I need proper friends and I do not have many. I do not say that way openly. T hat is really shameful since not having friends must be that one's fault. Lack of nice character so on. I do not think I wrote that way before.

Here I have many people around me and they are so nice to me.
However something is missing always.
The reason I think that way might be my fault since people are so nice.
If I say what I think really is...

If I say more honest,
people might be interested in having sex with me however nobody is interested in what I think.
Sorry it is really exaggerated.
When I talked about this with my colleague, he said , it is still lucky if I am interested in that way
I agree. Better than nothing.

I want to people around me who care how I think or if I am happy or cry. I think caring people and objects are different. When we care objects we do not care if that objects are happy or not.
I am saying rude and bad since I am treated well however I really feel I am treated as an object.
So I needed friend like him.
Is he my imaginary creature?
I talk with him over internet more than half year now.